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APR 1st - APR 14th, 2025
i started writing this on the first, then got a little distracted...
haven't been here since my birthday! hope you've been doing well in that time! much like my other updates, a lot has happened since then.
i had a really bad breakdown later in the day after updating my website on the 13th, then I got better and made a ton of art! i walked and walked with my pokewalker (i even maxed out my watts!), then i lost it on one of the worst days i've had in a while :[ i flew to my home state with my best friend and got to show her where I grew up, while at the same time helping my parents finally separate and move out of my childhood home...
ups and downs, right? there will be moments where i'm trucking along, getting things back on track, until suddenly a pebble of a problem knocks me off course and straight back into the pit. a part of me sits there frustrated while the rest of me lingers in that defeat. upsetting! a cycle that i hate and want to find a way to interrupt!
i've had an idea for a while that i haven't gotten to try yet. lots of people celebrate new years, ringing in the new and leaving behind the old. it's common for people to make resolutions and goals for the upcoming year, but rare that they follow through with it past a month or so. instead of just a new year, then, what about a new quarter? every three months, celebrating what's worked and leaving behind what hasn't, giving you ample opportunity to course correct within a year without self-imposed guilt.
let's try it, then. happy new quarter, friends! this quarter, i'm happy that i reached out to people both in real life and on the internet. i'm glad i put more time and effort into creative pursuits. im lucky to have my family cat here with me now, asleep on my chest as i type this (her name is Pretty, say hi!). im happy i've made it this far, and im so lucky to have who i have in my life!
this new quarter, i want to leave behind stagnation. i want to do something every day. i want to do things that i've been afraid of, even if i have to do them while terrified. i want to nurture relationships and share sparks of joy with people. i want to make progress on my health, and get answers to questions that have been bothering me. i want to be able to support myself so that i can support my loved ones. with all of this in mind, i want to be kind to myself, especially the parts of myself that are not kind to me. sometimes that kindness will look like pushing through something i desperately don't want to do, and other times kindness will allowing myself the rest that i need.
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... and that's what i wrote on the first! how has my new quarter been so far? it started off strong with me applying to a job nearby, opening commissions and getting my FAFSA in order! woohoo! since then, it's taken a bit of a dip (jobs not getting back to me, issues with taxes and financial aid, etc.) and the hopelessness vs hopefulness comes in waves, but i'd say today i'm more hopefull than not :]
The Website
ah, yes! you're now viewing this from the nekoweb!! i've been wanting to move for a bit now, but told myself it would be some monumental effort... nope! gotta love find & replace all! outside of that, i've edited the css of the site to make customization a little easier on me.
i've finally switched over to linux (i'll make a post about that later this week), so it took me a while getting my bearings on how i want to edit the site going forward. i started by trying out geany, but found the live preview a bit lackluster, so i'm currently using vscodium!
let's look at the results of the last poll...
lots of grass types visiting, i see! i neglected to include psychic (i guess dark/ghost gets the vibe across somewhat), but that's probably where i'd end up! the new poll asks you what ability/power you would choose out of the options provided, and i really am curious to see what you all pick!! i tried my best to avoid picking any that were too "over-powered" to keep things fun, lol
as for future updates, heres some blog posts i plan to write:
- using linux so far as a windows-only user since windows 7, as well as my general feelings on using computers as a whole.
- 3d modeling for the terrified 2d artist ft. blockbench
- how to get out of the hole (aka my experience with trying to get my life back together lol)
- my relationship with "personhood"-- gender, kinning & therianthropy, psychology, all of that good stuff.
for site updates in general:
- i'll be taking the time here soon to photograph my stuffed animals and my tech! both will have their own pages where i'll go into detail on each one!
- now that i can use fun widgets, expect comment sections sometime here soon! im thinking i'll start off with blogposts. i cant wait to get to hear from you!
- i've had a pokemon shrine in the works for quite a minute now, but since it's such a huge part of who i am, it's also a huge undertaking!! i don't want to make it a big feature on the site until it's looking how i want it to look, so this one might be a minute.
- i want to make something for all of you to play with! i know it's my website, but i still feel like there's too much "me" here and not enough of "you"! my first thought is something v-pet adjacent, but we'lll see...?
alright, time to post this before i put it off for another two weeks.
take care, and see you soon!